My parents left last Friday, they missed their connection flight in Frankfurt and waited 6 long hours for the next flight to Bilbao. But they were ok, I guess all those years of my mom working in Switzerland does help when she has to use her Italian or German reminders to communicate in a desperate situation.
When they arrived in the town this weekend my mom says that it takes her 1 hour to go to the bank or to arrive to the walking distance grocery store and that is because everyone stops her to ask her about me. She was saying that some of them do cry when they see her and they say I am sorry your daughter has got Cancer. OK.........I do really appreciate that people are concerned about me, I promise that I am complete overwhealmed about the amont of people who care about my health, the amount of people who are praying for me. Also, I am the first one who gets emotional sometimes and have a good cry when I need it, but I am determinate to combat and win this battle and that kind of reaction makes me feel like if people are taking this as a dead sentence. I am not dying and not expecting to do so for many years, do want to see my son grow and see his graduations, his soccer games and his wedding. I am definitely taking this Cancer as a wake up call in my life to take care of myself and to enjoy my family and my life as much as I can. So I am asking everyone to believe with me that I am going to be OK and walk through this process with me with the same believe, if you do not believe it I am sorry but I do not want you with me on this journey.
Alberto says so many times that I put a brave face to everyone, I am showing the brave Mila to everyone but people do not see my low moments, my good cry in front of the mirror or the days I can't move from bed. Well, I think everyone is entitle to have their bad moments but I think my bad ones are much less than the good ones and that is all thanks to all my closest friends and family who are next to me. Just believe with me and I will be fine...Love you all!.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I have had a few great days of doing things with amazing friends and would like to share it with everyone. Last Saturday Marcela and Alberto were really nice to take Ethan with them for a playdate which it was really appreciated as I was still feeling quite tired. Alberto and I went for a walk and lay down to watch a film. For some reason last week it took me longer than expected to recover but sometimes we react to what they tell us, the doctor told me that I was going to be more tired than before last week and I guess I was, but not sure how much it was my mind being prepared to be more tired than previous sessions. We went to pick Ethan up and we end up staying outside their house with them and their neighbors for over an hour. I felt much better when I come back home, I am a true believer that a good friend company for 30 minutes is much better than any medicine any doctor can give you. And there is a handful group of them that are giving me so much energy and support that are helping much more than they can imagine.
On Sunday we went to Lorraine's for dinner, it is becoming a very regular dinner and I am starting to feel like if I am going to my sister's for Sunday dinner. I think I have said so many times this but I can't say them enough as how appreciated I am of all her support.
Monday I went to Santana Row for lunch with my Spanish group and the way it got arrange is so typical of us Spanish. Monica and Miriam get together once a month for lunch, they communicated through facebook that they were planning to get together and 7 of us just auto invited to join them. Great lunch and I meant to do a photo of all of us but at the end complete forgot to do it.... Tuesday, lunch at Marcela's, thanks again my dear friend!. Damaris made our favorites flauta's and I eat all the white flour that should eat for the week, the lunch was delicious. Both days I went home early afternoon and lay down in the sofa as I do get tired, plus the hot weather has been hard as well. And I will be cooking every day practising with my "must food", I did brown rice with vegetables for dinner yesterday and Broccoli casserole today and both were delicious....
Now today I decided to join a Yoga studio with Monica, I wanted to do it for some time but my left arm was not strong enough. But today we were so ready, we were there at 9 am for a Vinyasa class that we thought we could perfectly do it....even when the instructor asked us if we had done Yoga before and I answered her of course we have done it before....like telling her we know what we were doing. Well, it was very obvious after 10 minutes that the class was well too advanced for us but we were determinate to stay there for the 75 minutes. I can't remember last time I have sweat so much, Monica was saying that she was sweating more than when she goes running. There was one point during the class that both of us were so dizzy and feeling like we should leave the room as we were just not ready for the flow of postures and movements that these people were doing. But we were there until the end, we did the OHMMMMMMMM and we left the place like if someone had just hit our full body. BUT we will be back tomorrow for a "Gentle Yoga" class and hoping it will be better, we saw Pregnant women coming in to the next class which was the gentle so if we can't do it tomorrow we are in serious unfit situation and we might just have to join the meditation class only....
Oh forgot....Lorraine arrange cinema with a few friends last night and we went to see "The Help", great film that you should see. Based on the 1960 civil rights time when black people will work in white people houses as maids, their lives and how they manage to publish a book about their experiences. I thought it was a great film, thanks girls for coming out!.
Looking forward to Miriam's babyshower this Saturday, I feel is going to be a big party.....
On Sunday we went to Lorraine's for dinner, it is becoming a very regular dinner and I am starting to feel like if I am going to my sister's for Sunday dinner. I think I have said so many times this but I can't say them enough as how appreciated I am of all her support.
Monday I went to Santana Row for lunch with my Spanish group and the way it got arrange is so typical of us Spanish. Monica and Miriam get together once a month for lunch, they communicated through facebook that they were planning to get together and 7 of us just auto invited to join them. Great lunch and I meant to do a photo of all of us but at the end complete forgot to do it.... Tuesday, lunch at Marcela's, thanks again my dear friend!. Damaris made our favorites flauta's and I eat all the white flour that should eat for the week, the lunch was delicious. Both days I went home early afternoon and lay down in the sofa as I do get tired, plus the hot weather has been hard as well. And I will be cooking every day practising with my "must food", I did brown rice with vegetables for dinner yesterday and Broccoli casserole today and both were delicious....
Now today I decided to join a Yoga studio with Monica, I wanted to do it for some time but my left arm was not strong enough. But today we were so ready, we were there at 9 am for a Vinyasa class that we thought we could perfectly do it....even when the instructor asked us if we had done Yoga before and I answered her of course we have done it before....like telling her we know what we were doing. Well, it was very obvious after 10 minutes that the class was well too advanced for us but we were determinate to stay there for the 75 minutes. I can't remember last time I have sweat so much, Monica was saying that she was sweating more than when she goes running. There was one point during the class that both of us were so dizzy and feeling like we should leave the room as we were just not ready for the flow of postures and movements that these people were doing. But we were there until the end, we did the OHMMMMMMMM and we left the place like if someone had just hit our full body. BUT we will be back tomorrow for a "Gentle Yoga" class and hoping it will be better, we saw Pregnant women coming in to the next class which was the gentle so if we can't do it tomorrow we are in serious unfit situation and we might just have to join the meditation class only....
Oh forgot....Lorraine arrange cinema with a few friends last night and we went to see "The Help", great film that you should see. Based on the 1960 civil rights time when black people will work in white people houses as maids, their lives and how they manage to publish a book about their experiences. I thought it was a great film, thanks girls for coming out!.
Looking forward to Miriam's babyshower this Saturday, I feel is going to be a big party.....
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Identity Theft
Identity theft, really?, really?, yes!!!, I can't believe it. I have been in bed since Tuesday evening, was super tired and was really uncomfortable in the sofa so has been sleeping and trying to pass the time.......BUT this morning 7:30 am a nice lady called from Capital One account saying that wanted to confirm that I wanted to open a bank account in Miami. Thank God she did as because of her call we look at the credit bureau and saw that they also tried to open account with Chase, with T-Mobile and with Sprint. They were not lucky with any of them but they were lucky with General Electric money credit card, I did not have an idea GE offers credit cards!!. They manage to open a $500 credit card which hopefully will be closed soon....
So Alberto and I spent most of today changing bank accounts, putting victim alerts everywhere, calling police....but I think we got it all shorted. Now....I am exhausted and going to bed early!
Alberto said that he recently has read in some article that people who have been diagnosed with some illness are targeted for identity theft so after Jeff advice I called the hospital, the health insurance and the disability insurance as all that three people have got the information use for these theft which were name, social and date of birth.
Keep your eyes open and if you can register with a credit alert, Wellsfargo offer one for $12 a month or similar and seems to be reasonable.
So Alberto and I spent most of today changing bank accounts, putting victim alerts everywhere, calling police....but I think we got it all shorted. Now....I am exhausted and going to bed early!
Alberto said that he recently has read in some article that people who have been diagnosed with some illness are targeted for identity theft so after Jeff advice I called the hospital, the health insurance and the disability insurance as all that three people have got the information use for these theft which were name, social and date of birth.
Keep your eyes open and if you can register with a credit alert, Wellsfargo offer one for $12 a month or similar and seems to be reasonable.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Recipes
I have had my parents with me for two months and I am not going to talk about the fact that they are leaving this Friday as I will get all upset. What I want to say is that my mom has been cooking nonstop for 2 months and specially done really nice desserts that all my friends have loved.
So I have started a new tab on my blog where you can see recipes from my mom from now and eventually from me as I am expecting to experiment with food.
Go to the top of my page and see a new tab called recipes. Hope you enjoy it
So I have started a new tab on my blog where you can see recipes from my mom from now and eventually from me as I am expecting to experiment with food.
Go to the top of my page and see a new tab called recipes. Hope you enjoy it
Monday, September 12, 2011
4th and last AC chemo
10 am and here I am connected again to this chemo port for my last AC treatment, same faces around, today the place is really quiet so will get along and write something here. Just had a chat with Dr Chen who gave me some good and bad news, the good news is that I am doing great and my blood draw results shows that I am doing fantastic, she also did a physical exam which it was also great. The bad news is that AC treatment exhaustion are accumulative and normally the last one is the most difficult one, so she expects me to have a real hard time this week, I am hoping the thought of knowing I am not going to have it again might help me go through it. My strategy is going to be Tylenol PM and try to sleep as much as I can......
We talk about my next 4 rounds of Taxol, starting in two weeks. Nausea is not an issue there and you get flu symptoms which for some people are not too good and in some people are like a normal flu, hoping I am on the last group. You have got a risk of having some allergic reaction so they prescript you with steroids and some other pills that will not let you sleep for a few days....So will have to go to my Tylenol PM friend or something similar to let me sleep but we will cross that line in two weeks.....
Now coming back to this past week which was fantastic but I did not stop!. On Wed I went in the morning to a meeting at the Dioceses of San Jose for Layette, I have been helping Saint Chris on this program for two years and could not say no this year. I started helping them when after so many miscarriages I realized could not have another child so thought helping other moms will be a good idea. Layette is an initiative where around twenty parishes in San Jose collect new born clothes, blankets and cribs and distribute them to public nurses so they can give them to moms that really need it. At the meeting we discover that requests for Layettes have gone down and baased on current Economy do not think is because people are less poor. The real problem is that public nurses have been cut dramatically so there are much less nurses to follow up poor families. We discussed ways of getting these clothes to these people through hospitals that accept medical so hope we can reach more people this year. If anyone wants to donate any new born clothes please let me know, I will go and pick them up from anywhere.
On Thursday we had our morning walk with Monica and Marcela but this time Gema and Neus also join us. After last minute talks we decided to get together after the walk to prepare lunch and have the lunch at my house. I did a paella that was delicious and we had lunch Monica, Marcela, Gema, Upe, Rosario, Damaris, Jackie, my mom and myself. We had a great time and we ate a lot....I love this group to pieces, they are so alive and so positive that they are fantastic. Sorry for all the others who were working and could not make lunch, I guess this was a lunch for the ones who are not as busy as the others...
On Friday we met all the Spanish moms at the park as every Friday and I was super happy to make it this time so I could see some of them that have not seen for some time. We normally meet twice a week, on Monday some of the moms volunteer to teach the kids Spanish, we rent a preschool and divide the children in different levels and ages so the small ones learn songs, the middle ones learn letters and the older ones read and write. On Friday we meet for a playdate at the park and during winter months we do some in doors activities like painting, jumping, ice skating or others. Then once a month we try to do family activities so the husbands can also join us, really nice group!.
Now I had my cooking weekend, party after party but had so much fun!. On Saturday we spend the morning cooking with my mom getting ready for the party at Marcela's house, it was my parents farewell party and I made the condition that we were bringing the food as Marcela always feed us as well as putting the house. We had a great time, had the fire on when it was dark and we left her house quite late but we had an amazing relaxing time. My parents come alive in her house as in mine they are bored and on other places they do not speak the language so they are really quiet, here they tell jokes and do not stop talking!.
On Sunday I had Lorraine and Joan's families for dinner in my house, I did Tarka Dall which is my favorite Indian food and have to say that is fantastic. I found the recipe on Internet and will post it here some time in case anyone wants to try. I also did some chicken with a sauce that I invented myself with onion, garlic, spices, tomatoes and mil and it was also really nice. I prepared two different rices and we had a great dinner. I should had done something healthier as almost everyone who was coming was on a diet so hope have not damaged the diet much...Lorraine was complaining today but she loves the lentils so it would had been impossible for her to stay away from them. This Thursday we are the 3 of us getting together for my weekly Cellular response that Joan does on my, I do really feel that it helps getting my energy back quicker and it is so relaxing that I do look forward to have it every week.
Now the last and the best is that Ethan had his first soccer game on Saturday, he was named the player of the game!!!, he scored 8 goals!!!!, problem was that he scored 4 for his team and 4 for the other team as he was so focus on scoring that he did not care what side!. This is the photo just before the game started, I think he loved it and he will not complain much when he goes to practise this Thursday.
We talk about my next 4 rounds of Taxol, starting in two weeks. Nausea is not an issue there and you get flu symptoms which for some people are not too good and in some people are like a normal flu, hoping I am on the last group. You have got a risk of having some allergic reaction so they prescript you with steroids and some other pills that will not let you sleep for a few days....So will have to go to my Tylenol PM friend or something similar to let me sleep but we will cross that line in two weeks.....
Now coming back to this past week which was fantastic but I did not stop!. On Wed I went in the morning to a meeting at the Dioceses of San Jose for Layette, I have been helping Saint Chris on this program for two years and could not say no this year. I started helping them when after so many miscarriages I realized could not have another child so thought helping other moms will be a good idea. Layette is an initiative where around twenty parishes in San Jose collect new born clothes, blankets and cribs and distribute them to public nurses so they can give them to moms that really need it. At the meeting we discover that requests for Layettes have gone down and baased on current Economy do not think is because people are less poor. The real problem is that public nurses have been cut dramatically so there are much less nurses to follow up poor families. We discussed ways of getting these clothes to these people through hospitals that accept medical so hope we can reach more people this year. If anyone wants to donate any new born clothes please let me know, I will go and pick them up from anywhere.
On Thursday we had our morning walk with Monica and Marcela but this time Gema and Neus also join us. After last minute talks we decided to get together after the walk to prepare lunch and have the lunch at my house. I did a paella that was delicious and we had lunch Monica, Marcela, Gema, Upe, Rosario, Damaris, Jackie, my mom and myself. We had a great time and we ate a lot....I love this group to pieces, they are so alive and so positive that they are fantastic. Sorry for all the others who were working and could not make lunch, I guess this was a lunch for the ones who are not as busy as the others...
On Friday we met all the Spanish moms at the park as every Friday and I was super happy to make it this time so I could see some of them that have not seen for some time. We normally meet twice a week, on Monday some of the moms volunteer to teach the kids Spanish, we rent a preschool and divide the children in different levels and ages so the small ones learn songs, the middle ones learn letters and the older ones read and write. On Friday we meet for a playdate at the park and during winter months we do some in doors activities like painting, jumping, ice skating or others. Then once a month we try to do family activities so the husbands can also join us, really nice group!.
Now I had my cooking weekend, party after party but had so much fun!. On Saturday we spend the morning cooking with my mom getting ready for the party at Marcela's house, it was my parents farewell party and I made the condition that we were bringing the food as Marcela always feed us as well as putting the house. We had a great time, had the fire on when it was dark and we left her house quite late but we had an amazing relaxing time. My parents come alive in her house as in mine they are bored and on other places they do not speak the language so they are really quiet, here they tell jokes and do not stop talking!.
On Sunday I had Lorraine and Joan's families for dinner in my house, I did Tarka Dall which is my favorite Indian food and have to say that is fantastic. I found the recipe on Internet and will post it here some time in case anyone wants to try. I also did some chicken with a sauce that I invented myself with onion, garlic, spices, tomatoes and mil and it was also really nice. I prepared two different rices and we had a great dinner. I should had done something healthier as almost everyone who was coming was on a diet so hope have not damaged the diet much...Lorraine was complaining today but she loves the lentils so it would had been impossible for her to stay away from them. This Thursday we are the 3 of us getting together for my weekly Cellular response that Joan does on my, I do really feel that it helps getting my energy back quicker and it is so relaxing that I do look forward to have it every week.
Now the last and the best is that Ethan had his first soccer game on Saturday, he was named the player of the game!!!, he scored 8 goals!!!!, problem was that he scored 4 for his team and 4 for the other team as he was so focus on scoring that he did not care what side!. This is the photo just before the game started, I think he loved it and he will not complain much when he goes to practise this Thursday.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I am recharged!!
Last week was a hard week for me, Wednesday and Thursday it was hard after the 3rd chemo and even if I am doing fantastically great that low days put you down a bit. This time the symptoms were quite similar reference nausea but I felt Wed and Thursday the exhaustion was much higher than before, I slept as much as I could and hoped that will pass soon. It is amazing, on Friday you wake as a new person, you are not back to normal but you feel some energy is coming back and your appetite is returning so you start feeling stronger, after Friday things just look better each day.
Fiona arrived on Friday evening from the UK and we had a great weekend!, she did not cry when she saw me because she was in shock of how great I look and she even said a few times that I look much younger without hair. Also I think the mix of not having hair touching my face all the time and the healthy eating are giving me a skin that I have not had for many years... We spent the full weekend talking and arranging the world, we went for a walk each morning and each evening and we talk as little as we could about Cancer. I keep thinking that have got no idea how I am going to pay her back for everything she is doing for me.
Sunday we had the photoshoot and a great evening with Maite and Upe. Monday was my first day going to a place with more people than my family or my neighbors and we went to Half Moon Bay to have lunch at the Ritz Hotel. We had a great lunch and a walk along the seaside of the hotel and after we come back in the afternoon Alberto and I went to Lorraine's for a drink. Today I was excited to take Ethan to school and I will be taking him every day which might sounds stupid for some people but I am super happy of being able to go with him. I met with Monica and Marcela for our morning walk and hoping to set up a weekly routine of regular walks.
I have got lots of great things to do this week, have managed to keep my week as busy as I can but allowing some time for resting and napping as well. I just feel really happy and recharged so looking forward to enjoying the coming days.
Fiona arrived on Friday evening from the UK and we had a great weekend!, she did not cry when she saw me because she was in shock of how great I look and she even said a few times that I look much younger without hair. Also I think the mix of not having hair touching my face all the time and the healthy eating are giving me a skin that I have not had for many years... We spent the full weekend talking and arranging the world, we went for a walk each morning and each evening and we talk as little as we could about Cancer. I keep thinking that have got no idea how I am going to pay her back for everything she is doing for me.
Sunday we had the photoshoot and a great evening with Maite and Upe. Monday was my first day going to a place with more people than my family or my neighbors and we went to Half Moon Bay to have lunch at the Ritz Hotel. We had a great lunch and a walk along the seaside of the hotel and after we come back in the afternoon Alberto and I went to Lorraine's for a drink. Today I was excited to take Ethan to school and I will be taking him every day which might sounds stupid for some people but I am super happy of being able to go with him. I met with Monica and Marcela for our morning walk and hoping to set up a weekly routine of regular walks.
I have got lots of great things to do this week, have managed to keep my week as busy as I can but allowing some time for resting and napping as well. I just feel really happy and recharged so looking forward to enjoying the coming days.
Good Luck Marta
The other day Upe called me and told me that a girl from Spain who works with her had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and if she could give her my contact details. I told her that of course as when I was diagnosed the first person I called was Cheryl Sole who I knew had gone through it, it helped me a lot for her to walk me through what was going to happen to me and what was the process like.
I met Marta today and she is a lovely girl close to my age and amazingly has been diagnosed with the same type of cancers like me, has already had the surgery and is going to have the same treatment as me. She is treated at Stanford and I am treated at Goodsam but it was really nice to know that the protocol is the same, the things they have explained to us are the same and the outcome expected from our treatment is the same. It kind of gives you peace of mind as you always have got something that makes you wonder if what they are doing to you is the best treatment and if anywhere else they will do differently.
She is having her first AC chemo treatment tomorrow and I wish her the best of luck, it will be much better than what she expects as we normally set our minds for the worst but I hope she can have a few hours sleep tonight.
I met Marta today and she is a lovely girl close to my age and amazingly has been diagnosed with the same type of cancers like me, has already had the surgery and is going to have the same treatment as me. She is treated at Stanford and I am treated at Goodsam but it was really nice to know that the protocol is the same, the things they have explained to us are the same and the outcome expected from our treatment is the same. It kind of gives you peace of mind as you always have got something that makes you wonder if what they are doing to you is the best treatment and if anywhere else they will do differently.
She is having her first AC chemo treatment tomorrow and I wish her the best of luck, it will be much better than what she expects as we normally set our minds for the worst but I hope she can have a few hours sleep tonight.
Photoshoot by Maite Pons
If you are on my facebook account you have already seen these photos, but if you are not I have to post here my two favorite ones. It is not a surprise to say that even if all the photos are amazing, my favorite ones are the ones with my boys, the one on the front page of these blog with Alberto and Ethan and the ones here with Ethan.
So thanks very much Maite for all the pictures, the patience and the time you spent with us. And thanks to Upe, Maite and Fiona for making me laugh so much all Sunday evening.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Viva la Virgen De Nieva
I am from small town in south Pamplona (Spain) called Peralta, I lived there the most wonderful moments in my life and have friends for ever. I left Spain 15 years ago but I do come back to the town once or twice a year if I can as my parents, my sister and all my mom's family live in the town.
For the past 6 years my friends have made a tradition which is to call me this Saturday night when they are having dinner and have had a few drinks to remind me what I am missing for not being there. This week I think that call might be a bit emotional, I wish I could be there with them or even better I wish they could be closer to me. However they have been really close to me, they call me, e-mail me and request a bi-weekly personal update, if I start my good week without sending that message I am told off.
I want to put a few photos here of that festival from many years ago that will remind many of us so many good memories, and I want to say: " Viva la Virgen de Nieva". Check if you can find me on two of them, the middle one I am not on it but it is such a nice photo of them that have to share....
This week the town is getting ready for that festival to celebrate Virgin Nieva, which starts on Saturday. You have to keep in mind that in Spain we celebrate anything and any Saint but this festival is special. It last 10 days of heavy eating, drinking, dancing and lack of sleep. Last time I was there about 6 or 7 years ago I was dead after two nights, my body could not tolerate that level of happiness....
I want to put a few photos here of that festival from many years ago that will remind many of us so many good memories, and I want to say: " Viva la Virgen de Nieva". Check if you can find me on two of them, the middle one I am not on it but it is such a nice photo of them that have to share....
Monday, August 29, 2011
3rd chemo day
Here we are again, did not sleep much so will see if I can recover some sleep later on when I am at home. I was really upset that could not go with Ethan for his first day of school, Alberto said he was really shy but he was happy to stay.
I arrived here at 8:15, lab was empty and it took me 5 min to do blood draw, so this time I had to wait for the nurse to see me for more than 20 min. My blood counts were normal and there is no indication that I am going to get an anemia which happens in more than 50% of the people, I think all this healthy eating that my mom and Alberto have been cooking for me is paying off big time. Wendy, the head of nurses, says that positive thinking does as much as the eating and the exercise and she can say from the first time she meets the patients who is going to do good and bad. She said that she knew when she met me that I would do great as I always have got a smile in my face.
My chemo nurse is new today, her name is Diane and she seems really nice, she gave me ice cream while she was injecting my first drug as I did not like my ice today for some reason so I feel really spoilt. The room was not too busy, there is a person who I have not seem before sitting next to me and a bit loud, he had a heart attack while on a business trip and after surgery they told him he had leukemia. Second drug is going in now and within one hour we will be out of here, I will take my two drugs when I arrive home today and go to sleep for a few hours....
I am looking forward to something this week, my friend Fiona is coming from the UK on Friday to spend a few days with me combining with some business. She has in the last 10 years being on all important moments in my life, she come to Spain to our wedding, she come to the US when Ethan was born, she come to my surgery and now making more time and visit us, really looking forward to see her and spend some time with her.
I arrived here at 8:15, lab was empty and it took me 5 min to do blood draw, so this time I had to wait for the nurse to see me for more than 20 min. My blood counts were normal and there is no indication that I am going to get an anemia which happens in more than 50% of the people, I think all this healthy eating that my mom and Alberto have been cooking for me is paying off big time. Wendy, the head of nurses, says that positive thinking does as much as the eating and the exercise and she can say from the first time she meets the patients who is going to do good and bad. She said that she knew when she met me that I would do great as I always have got a smile in my face.
My chemo nurse is new today, her name is Diane and she seems really nice, she gave me ice cream while she was injecting my first drug as I did not like my ice today for some reason so I feel really spoilt. The room was not too busy, there is a person who I have not seem before sitting next to me and a bit loud, he had a heart attack while on a business trip and after surgery they told him he had leukemia. Second drug is going in now and within one hour we will be out of here, I will take my two drugs when I arrive home today and go to sleep for a few hours....
I am looking forward to something this week, my friend Fiona is coming from the UK on Friday to spend a few days with me combining with some business. She has in the last 10 years being on all important moments in my life, she come to Spain to our wedding, she come to the US when Ethan was born, she come to my surgery and now making more time and visit us, really looking forward to see her and spend some time with her.
All good things have got an end
Why does my good week finish so fast?. I have had probably the best week since I started this journey, there are so many people who I have to thank for my week being that fantastic that I might be writing all night.
On Thursday I went with Ethan and Alberto to meet Ethan's new teachers, he was so happy to be at the big boys part of the school. It is weird as I have lost almost all my hair now and wearing caps all the time, so everyone now knows that I am mad and have shaved my hair or I am on a chemo treatment. But what do yo do?, do you wait until people ask you or you openly tell them you have Cancer?. Now I feel people do look at me more and sometimes wonder what it goes through their minds, on Thursday it was that situation, I did not say anything but was wondering what his teachers were thinking. On Thursday we also went to Ethan's first soccer practise, I did enjoy it so much...so cute to see a group of 4 year old running around with a big smile, I am sad that will have to miss this week's one!.
On Friday I did a quick visit to work to have a chat with my boss, weird to be at work but I do not need to worry about anything until January!. We went to Lorraine's for dinner, She did my favorite fish dish that I love and have to try to do it myself one day, we had a lovely evening and I really appreciate that she took the full family on when she is so busy and going through a hard time herself. She has been one of my rocks during this process and I will be immensely thankful to her.
Saturday we took it easy during the day, went for a walk with my mom as I have been taking very seriously about walking everyday at least 30 min. In the evening my friend Monica organized a party in her house to celebrate my mom's birthday, how nice is that?. We were a total of 26 people between kids and adults, Marcela did a fantastic decoration of the tables and garden. Monica probably had been cooking all day and everything was delicious, we ate and drink all night...We did not stop laughing with all the jokes they were saying, and I felt so sorry for Manoj who was the only non Spanish speaker!. We went home past 10 pm with a big smile and so happy to have so many good friends that give you this injection of energy, I thank each one of them for all their time and support. This photo is with Maite's little girl Ana, she has the most beautiful eyes and talks non stop when she is only 19 months!.
On Wed morning my mom and I went for a lovely facial to Michelle, one of the best facials in town by far and if anyone wants to try one let me know and will give you her details. I have to thank Rose for taking Ethan with her during this morning so he could enjoy his old daycare friends and mommy could enjoy the relaxing time. Damaris (Ethan's nanny) did invite us to eat lunch, the best flautas I have eaten, I am starting to think that someone has sent her to us as she has been an angel with Ethan and us, she is the nicest person on earth and is making things so easy!. That night and after having an afternoon nap we had the leaving party for Jen and the first time I wore my wig, have to say that it was a bit uncomfortable and not sure if I will be wearing it very often....it was nice to see all the girls and it will be sad to see Jen leaving California.
On Friday I did a quick visit to work to have a chat with my boss, weird to be at work but I do not need to worry about anything until January!. We went to Lorraine's for dinner, She did my favorite fish dish that I love and have to try to do it myself one day, we had a lovely evening and I really appreciate that she took the full family on when she is so busy and going through a hard time herself. She has been one of my rocks during this process and I will be immensely thankful to her.
Saturday we took it easy during the day, went for a walk with my mom as I have been taking very seriously about walking everyday at least 30 min. In the evening my friend Monica organized a party in her house to celebrate my mom's birthday, how nice is that?. We were a total of 26 people between kids and adults, Marcela did a fantastic decoration of the tables and garden. Monica probably had been cooking all day and everything was delicious, we ate and drink all night...We did not stop laughing with all the jokes they were saying, and I felt so sorry for Manoj who was the only non Spanish speaker!. We went home past 10 pm with a big smile and so happy to have so many good friends that give you this injection of energy, I thank each one of them for all their time and support. This photo is with Maite's little girl Ana, she has the most beautiful eyes and talks non stop when she is only 19 months!.Today we went to Santa Cruz, have a nice lunch with my parents at hotel Chaminade and went to the beach, however it was freezing cold and we could not stay much longer there. It was a shame it was that cold as we were so ready with beach toys to do a big castle!, Ethan was a bit disappointed. This evening I can feel I am stress already for tomorrow so I went for over an hour walk, I am hoping that extra exercise is going to help me sleep tonight!. I am feeling so great today and feeling so great in the past few days that can't believe tomorrow I am back to feeling bad!.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sometimes I forget I do have Cancer
I am on my good week and I feel so happy to have my energy back and being able to go out and enjoy any silly thing like going shopping, going out for dinner, go to the park or any other thing that I did not appreciate before. However I seem to forget that I am under a strong treatment and I am not the same as before and must take things easy....
Yesterday it was my first day out and I was so excited that I overdid it. We went painting with Ethan and some of his friends in the morning. It was my moms birthday and can't remember last time we celebrated together so we had family lunch, skype with my sister and all my family in Spain and then took my mom to Macy's for an hour to get her a present. Then.... my friend Mick Davoudian gave me a present some time ago for the dogs to be professionally photographed to create a poster to be in stores at Pet Food Express so we had the photographer at home in the evening.
After all this I was exhausted, I literally had to go to bed and was quiet upset with myself!, I must remember that I do have Cancer and I am battling it and me trying to do normal life when my body does not follow me is not going to help. From today I promise Alberto that I am going to be more reasonable, being active in the morning but resting in the afternoon. So today we had a great morning in the park but I did lay down in the afternoon and planning to take a nice walk this evening.
Yesterday it was my first day out and I was so excited that I overdid it. We went painting with Ethan and some of his friends in the morning. It was my moms birthday and can't remember last time we celebrated together so we had family lunch, skype with my sister and all my family in Spain and then took my mom to Macy's for an hour to get her a present. Then.... my friend Mick Davoudian gave me a present some time ago for the dogs to be professionally photographed to create a poster to be in stores at Pet Food Express so we had the photographer at home in the evening.
After all this I was exhausted, I literally had to go to bed and was quiet upset with myself!, I must remember that I do have Cancer and I am battling it and me trying to do normal life when my body does not follow me is not going to help. From today I promise Alberto that I am going to be more reasonable, being active in the morning but resting in the afternoon. So today we had a great morning in the park but I did lay down in the afternoon and planning to take a nice walk this evening.
Have to share this photo
Have been playing a lot with Ethan to make sure he does not feel uncomfortable with mommy not having hair and wearing a scarf, a hat or a wig. He loves to touch my head and the other day he had a moment where he asked me again to cut his hair but it was just a moment..... this is a photo of us playing with my wig and he looks so cute that have to share it with all of you, I guess if I had had a girl she might have looked like him in this photo?.A quick update about my hair is that has not fall off completely, Alberto cut it to #1 so it is almost nothing there, I have got areas of no hair but overall still holding strong for the last small piece of hair to fall off.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Bye, bye hair...
I have prepared myself so long for this moment that you would expect to be just a formality but it was really upsetting. I decided to cut it two days ago but have not been feeling up to typing anything, today is the first day that feel my energy is coming back. The last few days I have been feeling really bad, some moments I have to lay down as I feel like falling down and my body can not hold me. You do not want to eat, to drink or to talk and feel an immense exhaustion through your body. But today woke up much better and I am looking forward to enjoy the coming days going back to normal, I still need to be cautious for a few more days but I soon will be doing more normal life.
Before I found out I had cancer I had really long hair, the week I found out the news I cut it to the shoulder level. Then about 3 weeks ago I cut it really short in order to make myself to the idea of having almost no hair. Everyone keeps telling me that short hair is more suitable for me but I have got my doubts about it, I always liked it longer.Then on Wednesday night and after 3 days of seeing hairs everywhere: pillow, shower, hands...I asked Alberto to cut it and he was the happiest person on earth, he was like a child with a new pair of shoes with the hair clipper. He went all dramatic put me the song of Sinead O'connor "nothing compares to you" and set me up with a chair in the shower to start. I thought it was all well overdramatic and told him to stop the set up and just do it....I will lie if I said that I did not cry, I cried like a child and I am still crying when I am writing this but I guess it is all natural. Then that night when my friend Lorraine come to see me we cry for a bit longer, she was more upset than me I think which it was really sweet.
I love this photo here of Alberto and I, he was so proud of me and was trying to make me feel good about it. Alberto used to have really long hair and when he was 25 he shaved it when my sister in law was diagnosed with Leukemia. He decided since them to not let it grow and shaves it every week, now my sister in law fully recovered from the Leukemia and has got 3 lovely kids and has a complete normal life. The small problem was Ethan, he wanted to cut his hair as well and you all know how much his dad loves Ethan's long hair. I explained to him that mommy had boo boo in the hair and the doctor has asked me to cut it, I asked him if he wanted to go to the doctor with me so we could check if he needed to cut his hair and he said NO....my son does not like to go to the doctor so we normally clear issues using that subject.
Now it comes my fashion time, I have got so many scarfs, hats and a wig that it is time to use them all. Only issue is that my face is full of dark marks now, must talk to the doctor next time and ask if I can use Hydroquinona, just do not feel really attractive at the minute with no hair and face full of marks. Now my first fashion photos.......The first photo is a scarf from Tous that my friend Maite bought me, making some publicity for all of you who do not know them...Tous is a Spanish jewelerey designer that now sells their jewlery and accesories in lots of countries, you should go and visit their shop in Palo Alto shopping center. 
The second one is another one from my friend Monica from Maximo Dutty which is a shop in Spain that I love and that I normally can not buy many things as they do not fit me, glad to be wearing one of their scarfs. I thank Cathy Mee for my sleeping hat!, you do not realize how cold it can be without hair at night so that is so wonderful. I have got another 3 or 4 more scarfts from Jen, Tami and my husband that will be modeling in the coming weeks....so excited to have so many things to choose from.Hope you are all having a good day, enjoy every minute of it and appreciate everything and everyone you have got around you, there is no point to be having a bad day for any reason.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Second chemo treatment
I hate this day, the fact that I am going to be injected with all these drugs makes me feel sick just by the thought of it. Keep telling myself I have to go through it in order to save my life and I am sure I will appreciate it when it is over but can not be that positive the day of the chemo.
We arrived at 8:30 for blood work and the lab was really busy. Managed to see Dr Chen at 9 am, my blood counts had gone back to normal and she perform a physical exam that she said was perfect. She even said that next visit I am going to see the head of the nurses instead of her as I am doing fantastic. I went to the chemo room after and there were only a few people there, they were expecting me and took them 2 min to get me started. The room got fill out pretty soon and it is sad to say that I am the youngest person by far in the place, am I an unlucky one or people my age that the doctors said also going through same situation like me do chemo other days?.
We were home by 11 and this time I had one additional nausea pill(total of 5), the logistics of what to take first and with what is what it made the difference. One of the nurses wrote me down what should I take when and have to say it has done a huge difference. I still have got real bad nausea but I can live with it for a few days.
Now is a few days of resting, taking it easy, tolerating the feeling crap and the weekend soon will be here so I can feel better. I am still holding my hair even if it is falling off, I am going to hold for a few more days if I can....
We were home by 11 and this time I had one additional nausea pill(total of 5), the logistics of what to take first and with what is what it made the difference. One of the nurses wrote me down what should I take when and have to say it has done a huge difference. I still have got real bad nausea but I can live with it for a few days.
Now is a few days of resting, taking it easy, tolerating the feeling crap and the weekend soon will be here so I can feel better. I am still holding my hair even if it is falling off, I am going to hold for a few more days if I can....
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