Cancer changes you

I am almost over the Radiation and even if I will be doing Herceptin all next year I think after January 11th I will consider that my bigger cancer treatment is over after 6 months: Surgery, chemo and Radiation. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but I will lie if I say that Cancer has not changed me, it has changed me in many ways, some good and some bad.

I eat much healthier than ever before, I do more exercise. I enjoy each day with my friends and family and I am thankful for each day. I have decided to do big changes with my professional life and I am super happy and excited about them, can not wait to go back to work!. I know who my real friends are and I know they will be friends for ever!. I have touched based with family that I have not spoken in years and really happy about it. I have met really special people who are going through the same as me, both here and in Spain these people are the strongest you will ever find, it is an honor to be part of their fight and life.

It has given me also many bad things that hope will get better. I do not have breasts anymore and the scarfs remind me of it every day. My body is not the same any more, I am still too sensitive to changes and do get tired very easy but I guess things will get better. I heard my son talking to a friend one day saying :" my mammy does not have hair but I like it", you probably know what I did when I heard that...I cried!, now the other day he come to me and he said.."mammy, your hair is growing"!. I also get really anxious about any symptom my body gives to me: a headache, a muscle ache anything...I know I am going to have a hard time dealing with it in the coming years as everytime something hurts I will think cancer is back.

But despite everything I am fully aware that I have got a good chance of being ok for many years and that I will not learn from this situation if I do not do real changes in my life and in me as a person. I am just really grateful for having this second chance and being able to enjoy it with the people I love the most who are my friends and family.