Fertility

Cancer changes many things but one very important one is that affect your fertility for life or in my case probably has put me in menopause. There are so many of the people who are fighting cancer who would do anything to have a child and might not be able to have one. But on the other hand there are so many people who are healthy, do not take care of themselves and probably not capable of raising children but they do have more than they can take care. Unfortunately parenthood does not require any type of test or exam, and because of that many people will fail, it is ironic that we pass an exam for driving but not for being a parent.

Why do we want a child so much?, one of the most wonderful things in life is experience a new life and everyone should be entitle to it. Since we are adults everyone creates one way or another a picture of what they want from life: what to study, have a good job, financial stability, a family. The mayority of us will picture kids in their life as we want to feel the achivement of creating new life, building it and mentoring them to become good people.

I still remember the day Ethan was borned, he was so small and so cute, we were the happiest people on earth. I enjoy every single of his accomplishments like if they are mine, we encourage him to be positive, to do whatever he wants to do and we try to teach him boundaries around his life.

However i have to tell you that if you do not have kids life does not end there. It is easy for me to say that I have a son, but let me tell you that we have gone through hell to try to have more kids. It was priority number one and I could not understand why I could not have it. We had 6 miscarriages trying to get a second child, some of them were so dramatic that I will probably never recover from them. Now looking back I truly believe that there was a reason why we did not have that second kid, if my cancer started some time ago a full pregnancy would had been much worse for cancer to spread.

As humans we always want what we do not have, I always recall when Fiona will call me after each miscarriage and will say you have to decide when to stop getting pregnant before this affects more things in your life. We stopped trying last year after realicing that was causing too much trouble in our life. Now I appreciate what I have and expect to enjoy it as much as possible. I just wish everyone is happy with what they have and if they can not have it to find positive reasons why they can not have it.